hardm.

I miss how you would always cover my eyes from behind, and play “Guess who?” Even though I always know it’s you, I play along because once I turn around to see you, I get the same cute look on your face every time.
You scrunch your nose and close your eyes as you purse your lips.

The look you only gave me. And you told me this.

I miss the way you held my hand. It tells me what you feel at that exact moment. The feeling of security. The feeling of fear. When you want me to hold you closer. When you want me to let you go on your own.

The hands only I get to hold. And you told me this.

I miss the way you hugged me. It told me what you needed. When you need someone to keep you warm on a cold night. When you need someone to hold after a fight with your mom. When you wanted everything to get better just by a simple touch.

The hugs only I get to have. And you told me this.

I miss the way you kissed me. It showed me your passion. How much you wanted me. How much you needed my affection. How much you needed everything around us just to dissapear just for a few seconds. And no matter how old I get, your kisse’s on my bruises make the pain go away.

The kisses only I get to have. And you told me this.


What I hated.

I hated the way you lied to me. The way you hid someone else 3000 miles away. The way you made me think that you wanted to be with me forever. The way you stopped me from moving with you to New York to convince your mom to let us stay together.

But what I hated most.

Realizing that the way you smiled, held my hand, gave me hugs, and your kisses was being shared with another guy.

That's why it’s so hard to make my decision right now.